Postal Poetry

Some relationships fail. If the relationship isn’t worth the effort anymore, it must come to an end. The really sad thing is that, sometimes, only one person wants it to end. It takes two, though. Get over it. If one person says it’s over, it’s over. Do not try to force the deserter back into a relationship.For example, she walks away from the relationship and he is not ready for it to end. At first, he may call her a few times to try to get her to talk to him and mend their relationship. As far as she is concerned, there is no relationship anymore. The more she avoids and ignores his calls, the more persistent he becomes. The calls start coming at all hours, start coming at work and he’ll even call her friends, who tell him to get lost.After a while, the calls aren’t enough, so he shows up at the house at all hours of the night and day and even at her workplace. He starts following her with the belief that she will have to get out of the car and some point and he can approach her. Only, he doesn’t. He waits and then follows her again. He finds out who she seeing, what she’s doing and where she’s going. It is no longer about mending a relationship. It has become an obsession. It has become stalking, plain and simple.The deserter is hardly ever oblivious to the stalker. It can be pretty scary. It’s very reasonable to worry that, one of these times; he’s going to show up with a crowbar, then a bat and then a gun. All that is needed to obtain a protection from abuse (PFA) order, which forbids the stalker from making contact in any way, shape or form, is to answer “yes” to the judge who asks of if one fears for her life and safety. Sadly, some stalkers still don’t get the message. The PFA expires after a year, and guess who starts showing up again.Looking back, a stalking survivor may think to herself that she should have seen the signs. Perhaps she should have taken seriously the fact that he kept a sex journal, not ignored the fact that he was a borderline drunk or should not have ridden the never ending wave of drama and excitement. But, as always, hindsight is 20/20. Some stalkers just aren’t right in the head. It’s hard to see it when one is in the throes of a new relationship, but impossible to ignore once he makes it clear that he won’t let go, maybe forever.